(This blog was originally published on 22/06/2015 on a previous blog)
‘Twas the Knight Before Arkham, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not Batman nor Batmouse
The Gauntlets were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that The Arkham Knight soon would be there;
Alfred had nestled Bruce snug in his bed;
You see, Alfred had to, his parents were dead.
And mom in her jo’kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I knew it was Batman giving thugs quite the batter.
Away to the window I flew like the flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what did my wondering eyes see,
But a pack of new skins -“my my, that’s DLC”
Then a lively young lady, such violence within,
I knew in a moment this must be ms Quinn.
More rapid than eagles her backup they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Thug 1 now, Thug 2 and generic thug 3
On, Thug 4, Thug 5 on, 6, fight for me.
Then my eyes were directed to the top of my wall
Where a shadowy figure made them dash away all!”
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the house top the many bats flew
He’d a belt full of gadgets and the batmobile too
I then heard a thud come from the ceiling
Twas his douche bag companions, robin and nightwing
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
They had all disappeared without making a sound.
He was dressed all in black from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of gadgets and a cape on his back,
Like a nightmare he looked, or a gimp upon crack.
His eyes—how they shone in the darkness, how scary!
His ears were like spikes, his breath sounded wary!
His visible mouth was drawn up like a scowl,
And the beard on his chin was as dark as his cowl;
The speck of some blood decorated his teeth,
And the bats they encircled him just like a wreath;
He had a strong jaw and a sharp batarang
Which he’d thrown at his foes with a rather loud clang
Though scary he was, he fought the good fight
A watchful guardian, the darkest of knights
A look of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And hid all the bodies; then turned with a jerk,
He signalled: a finger on top of his mouth,
Then straight to the window, with a dive he was out;
To the batwing he sprang, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he flew out of sight—
“Happy Gaming to all, and to all Arkham Knight”