Twas The Knight Before Arkham

(This blog was originally published on 22/06/2015 on a previous blog)
‘Twas the Knight Before Arkham, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not Batman nor Batmouse

The Gauntlets were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that The Arkham Knight soon would be there;

Alfred had nestled Bruce snug in his bed;

You see, Alfred had to, his parents were dead.

And mom in her jo’kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I knew it was Batman giving thugs quite the batter.

Away to the window I flew like the flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what did my wondering eyes see,

But a pack of new skins -“my my, that’s DLC”

Then a lively young lady, such violence within,

I knew in a moment this must be ms Quinn.

More rapid than eagles her backup they came,

And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now, Thug 1 now, Thug 2 and generic thug 3

On, Thug 4, Thug 5 on, 6, fight for me.

Then my eyes were directed to the top of my wall

Where a shadowy figure made them  dash away all!”

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the house top the many bats flew

He’d a belt full of gadgets and the batmobile too

I then heard a thud come from the ceiling

Twas his douche bag companions, robin and nightwing

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

They had all disappeared without making a sound.

He was dressed all in black from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of gadgets and a cape on his back,

Like a nightmare he looked, or a gimp upon crack.

His eyes—how they shone in the darkness, how scary!

His ears were like spikes, his breath sounded wary!

His visible mouth was drawn up like a scowl,

And the beard on his chin was as dark as his cowl;

The speck of some blood decorated his teeth,

And the bats they encircled him just like a wreath;

He had a strong jaw and a sharp batarang

Which he’d thrown at his foes with a rather loud clang

Though scary he was, he fought the good fight

A watchful guardian, the darkest of knights

A look of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And hid all the bodies; then turned with a jerk,

He signalled: a finger on top of his mouth,

Then straight to the window, with a dive he was out;

To the batwing he sprang, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he flew out of sight—

“Happy Gaming to all, and to all Arkham Knight”


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